My Dark Cloud

I have this looming dark cloud over me and it's called Day Care. Ugggghhh. I am not really dreading returning to work, but I am dreading leaving my baby girl. I am certain every mom goes through this, but man, it's tough. Currently, I am the only one who can really sooth her and she's not really a fan of the bottle yet; in fact, she won't take one from me at all. I just picture her crying and not eating while I am gone....which is typically how things go down right now. Further, she doesn't like her car seat, so it's unlikely that she'll arrive each morning cheery. I could go on an on.

I know she is not the first baby to go to child care and I am grateful I have 12 weeks to be with her- more time than many moms get. My mom stayed home with us and honestly, I can't recall ever going to a babysitter (other than the occasional family member coming over), so I think there is a little guilt there too. On an upside, she inspires me to be the best I can be,  maximize my time and make things that I do meanningful. I went to the gym yesterday for about an hour and I don't think I had ever been so fucused on getting a solid workout in, doing my best, then returning back to my little love.

Everyone says it's harder on the mom than the baby, which I hope is the case. Anywho, that is my "poor me" story for the day, but it's about all I can think of. For now, I am just enjoying my time with her and if she wants to nap on my chest, I let her and soak up every single little tiny precious baby breath. I go back to work on July 23 - wish me luck.